If you could live purely on impulse, you’d want to punch the person who irritates you the most. For those who have truly hurt you, you’d want to humiliate them in front of the other people and give them a glimpse of how they make you feel. But then again, you can’t live your life that way. You just can’t act on emotions. Aside from looking entirely ridiculous, you’re going to end up looking like the bad guy. It’s hard to dictate your emotions when you want to do something so badly but you know that doing it doesn’t make you right.

If you’ve let anger dictate the way you react to every situation you get into, then maybe it’s time to look into yourself and see why you’re such an angry person. You can’t be the defensive one when you don’t like a person. You have to be more in control not just to protect yourself, but so you can live with no regrets. When things calm down, you usually look back on the situation and feel shame. Then, there are those who treat you with contempt. How are you supposed to treat these people? The best answer would be to not go down their level.

The negative attitude could permeate in your life and dictate how you should act in so many ways. The more you let it rule you, the worse things will get. You’ll have more reasons to get angry, thus, you’ll be trapped in this deadly spiral that just isn’t healthy for you. Your relationships will be destroyed until you find that you’re surrounded by people who don’t really respect you. The fight or flight mechanisms may have worked long ago, but that was before civilization came into play.

While, it’s nice to be vigilant, you will have your share of ups and downs. Like they say, you have to sometimes take things with a grain of salt. The very angry people are the ones who think that life has been very unfair. They see others leading very charmed life, but when it came to them, they had to work extra hard just to get things working their way. Little do they know that these “privileged” few have their own set of struggles. The difference is that they don’t let the whole world know about it. Realize this and know that while you do have problems and that you may have had your fair share of downers, there are still so many things you should be grateful for.

Not every situation warrants an outburst. It’s time to make a personality overhaul and create relationships that truly help you become a better person. It starts with acknowledging the fact that you do have a problem. You might slip every so often, but when you do know that you need to work on yourself, you’ll always show some effort. In the end, you’ll make yourself truly proud. Once you’ve mastered the art of anger management, you can sit back and watch how life can be so much sweeter.

Possibility Guy

Related articles

• How Anger Can Lead to Crimes (socyberty.com)
• 10 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in My First 30 Years (kansasdad.blogspot.com)
• Are You Angry? (itakeoffthemask.com)

How to Immedietly Stop Stress

It seems as if the world is moving at a faster pace. People now expect so much from you. Not only do you have to take care of things at home, but you also have responsibilities to fulfill at work. Having a family is no longer an excuse for you to slow down. In fact, you’re still expected to work equally harder.

That just makes things all the more difficult for you. While it’s tempting to quit and live in the lap of luxury, you know that this is so0mething that only the privileged few can enjoy. If you’re like most of the people, you need to learn the art of balancing life and work. This can be hard because you can’t afford to skip work every time you just can’t handle any more of it.

There are tricks to help you cope with the daily grind. You will still be able to fulfill all your responsibilities. In fact, you’ll be able to do them better simply because you’ve given yourself a way to cope with your stressful situation. It all starts with knowing what stresses you out the most. Could it be your supervisor? Is it the fact that you need money to pay for the bills? This is the most important part of the process because by recognizing the enablers, you will be able to come up with solutions that specifically target these.

Once you know why you’re so uptight, you will come up with solutions that will help you avoid these situations. Sure, you may not be able to get rid of your supervisor, but at least you’ll be able to become more productive at work so that your efforts are recognized. Or maybe, just maybe, you could put in a request for transfer. The thing you need to know is that there is always a solution. You can always ask a colleague for help because other people can give more objective advice.

With all that hard work, it would be nice to know that you can reward yourself every so often. Get a massage or go out with friends if you must. Whatever it is that gets you to appreciate the wonderful things you have in life, go get it. Before stress takes its toll on you, you need to step away from the situation and look into why you need to be grateful right now. You’re working hard for something and as long as that something is what you value most, you can always get back on your feet and face new challenges with your head held high.

Then, try to take a break. These don’t have to be grand vacations that require you to break the bank. In fact, it can be as simple as a walk outside or watching a movie. Most importantly, make sure that you get enough sleep. When you give your body the rest it needs, you’ll have the energy to do more. This is the most important thing you can do because you also have to think of your health and wellbeing no matter how tough things get.

Possibility Guy

Related articles

• Job strain ups heart-attack risk in women (cnn.com)
• Many Sleep-Deprived Americans Blame Stress (webmd.com)
• Consequences of Work Stress (brighthub.com)

Physical injuries are easily noticed by people. Moreover, a cut, a broken bone, or a bruise can easily be treated by doctors. Emotional injuries, on the other hand, tend to run deeper. They hide in our subconscious and can sometimes stay there for a very long time. It can easily be hidden, but is much harder to treat. At some point in our lives, most of us have, in some considerable way, been hurt and wounded.  The physical wounds can be seen and the forms of remedy are fairly straightforward and uncomplicated.  

The hurt that takes place in our minds and in our hearts are not so easy to see. We choose to hide them in the darkest recesses of our minds. This is what many call denial. Although many of us know that it’s best to deal with the issues, we often find ourselves feeling powerless, unable to free ourselves from the chains that burden us with the weight. The more we try to run away from it, the faster it seems to catch up to us.

To be able to heal ourselves from the pain, we have to address it rather than run away.  We often lack the ability to understand the true significance of coping with it. Fact is, when we face these issues, we are able to understand the reasons behind it. Our experiences sometimes tell us to have expectations that are not necessarily accurate.  We live in this small box and refuse to see anything beyond what is real to us. At the heart of healing is an experience. It is being able to live in the moment of suffering rather than locking ourselves away and shutting out the rest of the world.

We try to find ways to cope with it, maybe through alcohol or by whisking ourselves to a place far away. We have to allow ourselves to feel what is deep inside us to become aware of reality. After all, we can never run away from it and stalling only seems to make things worse. Whatever may have caused this deep pain, we should cease to continually question the entire situation. Whether it is the loss of a loved one or a fight with a friend, things happen simply because they were meant to.

What we most need during these trying times is the presence of people who truly and unconditionally love us. Love can come in many forms: in the comforting embrace of a family member, in the prayers of a friend, or in the good wishes of the people we meet. When the pain is just too unbearable to bear, it is not always possible to respond to it immediately. We need to constantly experience these little blessings in order to respond to it. That is why it is most important to cultivate healthy relationships with the people that surround us. What happens if you’ve surrounded yourself with a great support system is the ability to get over the pain more quickly. We have to give love to get love. Believe me, this will be your greatest blessing because we know that we will always have someone to lean on when the burden just gets too heavy.

Feeling like a lead weight is on your shoulders is probably a very common feeling. With the busy lives we lead, we can’t help but feel that there aren’t enough hours during the day, as if the 24 hours that were allotted to us weren’t enough to cover all our priorities.

We can all honestly say though that the overwhelming feeling of having too many things to do is, at some point, our own doing.

When it comes to work, you have to ask yourselves if it’s all worth it. If your efforts bring a promise of triumph, then by all means, push yourself forward. Giving up is probably one of the biggest mistakes you can ever make when you strive to win. Every trial surpassed is a step closer to your goal.

Now, if you’ve made up your mind about going forward and overcoming all the hurdles, here are a few helpful tips that will make your mission easier:

1. Focus on what needs to be done – with the amount of work you still have to do, you need to know which elements are your priorities. Lower priority tasks can be rescheduled while you concentrate on the higher priority tasks.

2. Break down your schedule and allot a reasonable amount of time for each of the tasks – this applies more to the smaller tasks. While you cannot let go of and forget about the trivial matters, you only need to give a fraction of the overall time completing the less important chores.

3. Eliminate clutter – if you find yourself working in a chaotic environment, you will soon see that you also become less productive. Clutter distracts your mind, and if you need to clear the space before starting anything, then by all means, do so. In the end, you can concentrate better and finish your work faster.

4. Set goals – without goals, you simply drift through life like a fish that follows the current of the sea. Goals give you the adrenaline that you need to complete what needs to be done. Attaining your objectives will make you happy, and one way to get to this happy place is by working towards it.

5. Focus – make sure that you set up a corner in your house where there are fewer distractions. Don’t give in to temptation and position your work station beside the television. Be strong, be firm, even with yourself.

6. Know when to pamper yourself – spoil yourself and give yourself small rewards. The gratifying portion of your day does not have to be elaborate. In fact, a simple neck message or a cup of herbal tea will do.

7. Ask for help – know that even the heroes in movies needed help at some point. For us normal people, we would most likely need it even more. Seek the advice of friends and know that you can also delegate tasks to the people in your life.

If you continue to stress about everything, your health is bound to fail. It’s not a choice between your job and health. It’s simply a matter of balance, in knowing when to say no and let go. If the amount of work reaches the point wherein your health and relationships are affected, then maybe it’s high time to do sit down and consider rethinking what you’re doing.

Peter Loughlin

Stress Breathing Techniques – Do NOT Take A Deep Breath

When we begin feeling stressed, we have a tendency to also begin breathing faster and shallowly, which reduces the volume of carbon dioxide in our blood and causes blood vessels to constrict. More often than not, this can lead to hyper-ventilation, which throws our metabolism completely out of whack!

Coaches and athletes understand the need to practice good breathing habits to keep metabolism’s in balance and produce up to 99% of the body’s energy aerobically. Conversely, those of us who have poor breathing habits experience a drop to around 85%, which is a significant decline in aerobic energy production.

The physiological changes caused by poor breathing habits throws off our pH balance, the ratio of O2 to CO2 in the bloodstream, diminished energy and of course a feeling of anxiety or poor health in general. Although we naturally breathe autonomously, over the course of our lifetimes we actually learn to breathe incorrectly. It’s a behavior that can be unlearned given time and effort.

That said, we first need to become aware of our breathing habits, by actually listening to ourselves breathe. We need to time how many breaths we take per minute and if that number is much over 12 in a relaxed state, we need to think about how we can best re-learn to breathe normally.

The first step is to avoid holding the stomach in, preventing the diaphragm from working properly. Relax your stomach muscles and inhale slowly through your nose to a count of 3. Now hold that breathe for a second and then exhale to a count of 6. Repeat that three times and then allow yourself to breath normally. The entire exercise should have taken you 30 seconds.

Since a good 70% of your body’s waste is eliminated through exhaling, you’re going to always attempt to double the time spent exhaling compared to inhaling. This allows your body to balance its metabolism and pH levels and well as increase the amount of energy produced. In stressful situations, your body will literally relax as you do it and your fight or flight response will quickly recede.

As a quick fix, this type of breathing technique works wonders for calming yourself down, but does not address the larger issue of learning to breath this way all of the time. To do this, you need to remain aware of your breathing habits and continually remind yourself to stay in control of your breathing.

Over time, you will develop the habit, but meanwhile, you may need prompting. One solution is to set a timer (for example on a digital watch) to beep every 3 to 5 minutes as a reminder to check your breathing. This helps because as we submerse ourselves into a given task, we can easily lose track of our breathing without realizing it.

You may even find it helpful to repeat a phrase during your practice like, “I’m breathing in”, “I’m breathing out”, to help you establish the proper rhythm. Your goal is to allow your body to take over autonomously with proper breathing habits as a result of your practice.

If you condition yourself to breath properly, especially in stressful situations, you will alleviate the stress and anxiety of it and remain calm and rational. Good breathing habits are learned, so training yourself beginning today will get you back on track to a happier, healthier you!

Peter Loughlin

Stress can have a number of adverse affects on your health, both short-term and long-term.  If you’re experiencing some of the following symptoms, it could indicate that you could benefit from some advice on how to relieve stress before your health suffers any worse than it already has.  Feelings of anger, fear or helplessness are common indicators of stress, as is insomnia.  Stress can cause headaches and pain in the jaw, neck and back.  Habitual smoking, drinking, overeating and drug abuse are also caused by stress.Stress is how your body responds to change.  And situations that cause stress in one person may not cause stress in another.  It’s a very individual experience.  One person may become tense when driving over high bridges, while another may enjoy the view.  The thought of skydiving terrifies some people, but others find it thrilling.  It’s nearly impossible to classify any particular situation as stressful, because what causes stress in one person could be a source of enjoyment for the next.  The key is to identify and manage what is stressful for you personally, because letting stress go unmanaged can have life-threatening health consequences.

Things you feel that you have no control over can be upsetting.  But remember that it’s not the situation, but how you deal with it that’s important.  You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can choose how you handle stressful situations.

Here are some tips for relieving your stress:

• Focus on your breathing and breathe slow, deep and deliberately.  Picture a peaceful scene in your mind.

• Exercise regularly.  Exercising releases tension from your body.  Find something you enjoy that gets the major muscle groups going.  Jogging, walking, swimming or bicycling are all excellent choices.

• Count to ten slowly and deliberately.  This helps you to pause and relax before reacting to a stressful situation.

• Do some stretching exercises several times during the day.  Stretching relaxes the muscles and reduces tension.

• Have a friend massage the back of your neck, shoulders and upper back.  These muscles get especially tense when you are stressed.

• Take hot showers and baths.

• Listen to relaxing music.

• Talk to your family and friends about what is causing you stress.

Seek help when you need it.  If you have recurring headaches and neck or upper back pain, and are having problems sleeping, you should see your doctor.

Learning how to relieve stress, and putting these methods to use are critical your overall health and happiness.  Try to learn to accept what you can’t change.  Not everything is going to happen the way you want it to.  Train yourself to look for the good in what appears to be a bad situation, talk to others about your troubles, and try to mentally remove yourself from the situation then evaluate it from the outside looking in.
Peter Loughlin

Life’s upsets have incessantly been a ingredient in stress management and being capable to manage with the strain that comes with these alterations in our life. Change, in whatever form, can be met in one of two fashions – either it is welcomed or it is not. Individuals are invariably fearful of change that happens in their lives and perchance that is why some individuals become disturbed by it.

Possibly it is the unforeseen that can stress people out whenever change occurs in their life-time and why there are so many unusual ways that people respond to change when it occurs.

Watch this Video On Stress Management

The most common reaction to change is shock and surprise, so when presented by unforeseen situations such as bad or other unplanned events, surprise seems to be the instant response for many. Such situations make people recognize that certain plans they have made in life can often have some unexpected results. The realisation that very little is enduring can be a beginning of stress for some people as change may come as a surprise. Some individuals react to change with denial and decline to acknowledge it.

Then again, some people will attempt to bring out certain values in order to reinforce that change is not necessary but this may be an alternative reaction after the surprise and shock phase. From time to time, Individuals move from surprise, and sometimes self-denial, to a logical understanding of change and may discover that change is in reality needed in certain situations as there are grounds why it occurs. Through this, Individuals begin to learn how to find means on how to deal with the problem. Nonetheless, at this point people may still not be willing to have change affect their demeanor but preferably find some means to repair the state of affairs instead. Change can sometimes lead Individuals to react in two unusual ways. At a certain point, the situation may get to a level where it becomes a crisis and when this place is reached, Individuals may either swallow it or avoid it completely.

When people discover to accept change, regardless how harsh, they are no longer affected by the tension that occurs with it as much as those that might want to avoid or discount it. Warding off plain changes, particularly the unpleasant ones, can sometimes lead to extra stress in many Individuals. Trying to fight one’s personal way in dealing with change instead of admitting it can sometimes be a lost cause and conflicts, both internal and external, may arise stimulating considerable tension to many people. It is only after discovering how to admit change that the stress caused by the burden of self-denial and refusal to admit it, it will be released.

Stress management works by being fit to understand and learn about how Individuals manage with changes. Knowing the different reactions and the stages that people go through with change can help Individuals get a better appreciation of dealing with the results of change with less tension.