I know this because it happened to me. I lost  jobs  and my relationships — sometimes  on the same day. Although I was largely the cause, when it happened I was definitely NOT ready for it.

I had to admit some tough things. Number #1 was if I don’t sort it out now, it will get worse down the line. I needed an income. I needed someone to talk to. I needed courage to deal with the fact that I had neither.

If it was going to get better it was going to be up to me…

I realized that it’s not the problem that’s the problem, its how you SEE the problem. You need to see it correctly before you can solve it.

Long before Michael Mack’s Power Esteem program became available I took the long road to get there, but eventually  surprised myself. By re-aligning the way I looked at everything I was able to change things. By reading and studying (even alone, on my own) I was able to find the courage and resolve to move ahead in my life.

Today I am ttally fulfilled and I have my own business–in fact I have several.

I decided to share what I learned with other people. If I can help even one person it will be worth the effort. I read a lot of psychological/motivational stuff that was difficult to get any value from. It was either clinical and technical, or full of ‘you can do it…’ cheerleading stuff.

Neither really helped me.

I had to dig DEEPER, and I had to get info from VARIETY of places (psychological text, human interest, video, documentary, biographies, friends’ advice, group and individual counseling, meditating, etc). I took all of this andused it to ask myself the right questions.

I decided that it wasn’t working to listen to someone else who didn’t know me try to give me ANSWERS. The answers didn’t work because they didn’t know enough about where I was in my life. Once I had the ability to ask myself the right QUESTIONS I found the answers for myself.

I didn’t believe this at first, but now I do: In the highest life-state you will welcome problems as challenges. The real question isn’t “what’s the problem”, but “how’s your life state”.

Some people actually seek out ‘the problem’ (surfers, mountaineers, etc). They want the rush of getting through challenges. The ‘horrible stuff’, like losing relationships and jobs, is just part of life, you don’t control it.

We just need strength for the change that is inevitable.

Problems are just facts. Our attitude is what makes us suffer. If we feel bigger than the problem we cope, if we feel smaller we suffer. Many times problems just reveal our weakness, and that is what we can’t handle, that is what makes us unhappy.

Somehow, for me, it turned out BETTER that these things happened to me.

You life state is not fixed, it changes moment to moment, (like waking up and feeling better the next morning). And the path to understanding is not a straight one.

Everyone has wisdom, courage and compassion inside of them, they just need to remember how to use them. You can use them like weights, to get stronger and stronger. Your adversity is just the resistance that makes you grow.

Expecting to win or fail is just habit of thinking. We are in charge of this habit. Don’t get me wrong, getting fit and staying fit takes effort. But in the long run it DEFINITELY pays off.

Perseverance for the sake of good wins, try not to accept your natural, negative way of doing things.

So, to summarize (even if you don’t believe it yet):

Perseverance wins.
Problems are good.
What matters is life-state.
What we need are wisdom, courage and compassion.
You have a choice. When you feel you cant handle something, you can chose to give up, or you can try to turn poison into medicine (even if it’s not your fault).

I do believe in one thing, pessimism sucks away your life force.

Recently I learned about Michael Mack’s extraordinary program  Power Esteem that gets you directly to what took me years to uncover. I think you should take a look at it if you need, well, need what we all need.

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So what do rich people know that you don’t know? What is their secret? It’s not skills, education or luck that let the rich get richer while you stay in the same situation year after year.

It’s mindset.

Click Here for More Information

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But when you have to speak to converse with someone on a more personal level, you have to really become aware of the person. This is when active listening comes into play. Situations like these require a higher level of listening skills. You are required to maintain eye contact, read body language, take note of the silences between sentences, and try not to make too many assumptions.

Why are all these important? First of all, maintaining eye contact lets the other person know that you are interested in what they have to say. They are likely to open up more when the other person shows concern. When it comes to body language, this actually reveals a lot about you are about the person you’re talking to. Don’t slump or fidget, instead, lean slightly forward without invading too much of their personal space. You must be engaging without necessarily scaring the other person off.

Maybe the hardest thing about communicating is keeping quiet. You should leave some room for silence, and mind you, they don’t have to be uncomfortable at all. These may be moments when both parties have to contemplate on what has just been shared. By allowing these moments of silence, you also give the other person a chance to continue without offending them with any form of rebuttal. You are basically required to fully take in everything said, digest it, and then respond to it. Of course, this also means that you already know what they are about to say next. Ideal communication happens when both doors are opened.

Because words are not always perfect mediums to convey meaning, you have to know that people sometimes say less than intended or more than needed. You really need to take into consideration everything about the other party. Your communication will be more effective if you watch for cues. When it is your turn to convey something very important, expect the same kind of respect you’ve given them and make sure that your listener is engaged.

Paying attention to each other’s listening style, you get to build solid relationships and healthy friendships. Because you make yourself aware of the other signs, you may find that you also pick up on their unspoken words. Show interest so that you prompt others to communicate more with you more effectively.

Active listening could therefore be the basis for every friendship. You allow others to open up to you because they know that they will not immediately be judged. Although you cannot always accurately tell what lies behind their words, you will sense that there is something more. All you need to do then to assist them and show that you are sincere with your interest.

Do think listening is an effective technique?

Peter Loughlin

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We go to high school, go to college, and concentrate on our careers. The universities prepare us for the real world by enhancing our talents so that we do well in our chosen fields. We continue living this somewhat happy life but find ourselves growing more and more restless each day. We wonder, and then wham! The realization hits us like a bolt of lightning: we are no longer happy with our jobs. We realize after years of study that this isn’t what we wanted after all. We kick and scold ourselves, somewhat thinking that we should’ve thought more about this when we had all the time in the world. Then we wonder, could it be too late for us to make a career change? What if this is just a phase of our lives much similar to a mid-life crisis? Before we make any final decision, we have to think things through. Then, we have to stop punishing ourselves for the dire situation we created. We have to know that life is an ongoing learning experience, and regardless of age, there are too just too many aspects to learn in life that a lifetime is not enough to figure all these out.

Change is inevitable, and it doesn’t mean we cannot learn to make something worthwhile of the necessary changes that life presents us with. Our careers keep us on a steady path, but when we are no longer happy with it, it’s difficult to stay on that path. We cannot help but veer away from it. It’s human nature to stay away from the things that displease us.

No matter how much we earn, the feeling of fulfillment must never be undervalued. We need to achieve the feeling of true accomplishment if we really want to be happy. Once we’ve decided on what to really concentrate on and specialize in, we need to plan ways wherein we can equip ourselves with the skills needed to earn that job. Letting go of our present careers completely may be too difficult to achieve. This is our bread and butter at the moment, and we would unable to do anything if there is no income coming in. Plan and make the shift slowly. If we have to offer extra hours at night, so be it. If the end makes us happy, then we might have to work hard to reach it.

In making in a big decision in changing your path, you may need some help. You should never hesitate to ask for it. We need someone who can help us put everything in perspective. Seeking support helps us to stay afloat when we feel like we’re drowning.

Making a change is always a tough decision to make. Ideally, we should have made the choice even before entering college, but it is never too late for anyone. Nowadays, we all can make something of ourselves with the help of modern technology. As long as we have the drive to enrich ourselves with the skill, doors will always be open for us.

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Peter Loughlin

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It takes guts to go up the corporate ladder. The daily grind of work can be stressful, and when you are up against people who are equally competitive, you need to make an even bigger impression. In today’s competitive world, the possibility of succeeding becomes more difficult and challenging. You work yourself to the bone, yet you still find yourself stuck in the same position with the same measly salary.

When killing yourself with work doesn’t bring you closer to your desired position, put on another layer of skin and gather up the courage to negotiate with your supervisor. All types of successful negotiations begin with being clear about what you truly want from the company. Being aggressive and pushy may just get you into trouble. Your supervisors demand respect, and even when they are at fault, you need to be the humble person here. The best way to negotiate is to show the higher-ups why you deserve the job. Yearly employee evaluations are always the best times to bring up a matter or talk about an issue. Be diplomatic and tactful when you tell them why you deserve the job. Never forget to mention your capabilities and highlight your strengths. People get promoted when they meet and exceed the expectations set on them. Devote time to doing your job well, and if you have been successful, it will be to showcase your quality of work.

So how exactly can you make your work better? Well, you need to take a step back and see how your specific duties contribute to the bigger picture. Research if you must so that you arm yourself with the skills needed to fulfill that dream position. Focus your research on a specific field. It helps to know the market trend, and when you display immense knowledge on a certain subject matter, your superiors will feel that you are able to make the right choice when the time comes.

Of course, part of every learning experience is making mistakes. You should not get frustrated when something goes wrong. Nobody’s perfect and neither are you! Accept your limitations and be open to suggestions from those with experience. Ask for help if you must because people will respect you more if they see that you are willing to learn. The makings of a great manager are in a person who knows how to delegate tasks. You need to know the value of your team and the people who make your job better. A great supervisor is a great team player. Get to know the people around you, share your talents, and learn from them. You can benefit a lot in learning from the strengths of others. With patience and practice, you will also get to develop that skill in you. You soon will find yourself more than efficient at the different aspects of your job.

When you dream of success, you have to plan for ways to achieve it. Keep your focus on the right path and develop the attitude of a go-getter. You will definitely get that coveted position if you work on your skills and your attitude.

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Peter Loughlin

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When we graduate high school and start choosing the course we want to take, most of us opt for something that covers a wider range of job opportunities. At 18, we sometimes don’t have a clear picture of what we want to be in the future. Our future endeavors are not always known at such a tender age. There are those lucky few, however, that already have a clear path in their minds. If we were to inherit a large sum of money, then this is not so much of an issue. Sadly, though, most of us have to work for bread to be able to survive in today’s cut-throat world. Then, we graduate and realize that we should have taken a different path. As much as we would like to back to school and study, we have to choose work above everything else. So, what happens to us? Not to fret because there may be a way to solve this dilemma.

Personality tests are becoming increasingly popular among people entering the workforce. These tests were intended to reveal the taker’s most desired career path. On the surface, this may sound like a great idea. We sometimes have dreams that are not in line with who we are. We should also give ourselves a chance to test the unknown. After all, our capabilities can’t be boxed and we can’t fully define our path to success by simply knowing who we are. We may have hidden strengths that may only reveal themselves when the need arises. Introverts may do well in a career in sales, and how are we to know what we can do unless we dabble in it.

It may sometimes appear that we’ll lead happier lives if we stick to our strengths and what we’re most comfortable with. Part of us will always remain unsatisfied when we limit our horizons out of fear or conformity. We might find ourselves waking up one day with a deep feeling of regret, and this is what we want to avoid at all costs.
Growing up, we’re completely dependent on our parents to meet our survival needs. Over time, we learn to cope with the demands life gives us. Our survival skills can only get us so far in the adult world. In most cases, the need to simply endure and carry on eventually wears thin, revealing the hidden chasm of anxiety.

We should not avoid the career that we want based solely on the need to get through day by day. We first must overcome our fears.  We need to delve into something that fits our desires to a T. Courage is what is needed here. If we can’t afford to give up the benefits of enjoying monetary stability, we must find the time to start small. The World Wide Web offers so many opportunities to hone and develop our hidden strengths. As we gain the respect of the other people, we will find that job offers slowly start to trickle in. Take what we can and slowly start to let go of the other things that we don’t really enjoy. If we become vigilant about this, we will soon find ourselves doing what we exactly want.

And that, my friends, is the secret to getting our dream job!

Peter Loughlin

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In order to succeed in life, we first have to believe in ourselves. All this talk about finding ways to achieve success is pointless when we just don’t trust our own talents and abilities. Without self confidence, we won’t have the tools to face life’s challenges with equanimity. The dilemma we sometimes face is not knowing how to gain self confidence when we don’t really have it in us. Do we really have to experience success first before we believe in ourselves? Maybe, but then again, many set themselves up to be discouraged before they’ve even tried anything.

To make your goals more attainable, you can make it more manageable by breaking down your larger goal into smaller ones. The chances for success here then increase. Then, make sure that you celebrate each small feat that you overcome.

Self image is another important factor. If you constantly criticize yourself, you will never feel adequate. Remember, negativity begets negativity.  This low self image is sometimes the by-product of your life experiences as you face the devastating blows of your wrong choices. You need to realize that these mistakes will never hold you down as long as you don’t allow them to. You need to look at now, not yesterday! What have you learned from the blunder? Use this and let this serve as a guide as you continue on life’s path. And then there are people who also affect the way you look at yourself. The decision of whether or not spend some toxic time with these individuals is all up to you. Learn to put your foot down and seek out those who can be more helpful to your overall growth.

You need to see yourself as inherently worthy. Be aware of how unique you are and realize that you are more than capable of contributing to the good of the world. Pay attention to only those who want what’s best for you and turn a deaf ear to those who just want to see you go down. The ones that deserve your time are the ones who recognize your inner strength. Look at yourself in a more positive light and start to see what you are actually blessed with.

Your self image is intimately intertwined with your destiny. You have to guard you thoughts against feelings of inadequacy. The power of a positive vision should never be underestimated. This is what helped the most successful people on their way to the top. Rule of thumb states that the clearer the goal is, the higher your self confidence gets. Even the most capable mind and body need a good dose of self confidence. Only with trusting yourself and knowing what you are capable of will you ever be able to attain success.

Peter Loughlin

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Long speeches and talks that ramble nonstop for hours and hours get people fidgety, and in the long run, all they’ll hear is blah, blah, blah, blah. The true message of the speech is lost. In fact, a lousy speaker doesn’t think that less is more. For him, more is, well, what it exactly is, more!

In fact, the poem Humpty Dumpty is a political allegory for the people in power. The question now is, why did he fall from the wall? Could it be that he simply got too bored listening to the speeches of those in power? It wouldn’t come as a surprise if this was, in fact, at all true.

Many people have a hard time concentrating. Can you blame them? Not really. Maintaining focus all throughout the day is very difficult to do. It’s not entirely impossible, but highly improbable. Several factors must be considered when you ask yourself why you just couldn’t see through your work:

•    The noises that surround you
•    Your state of health
•    The level of confidence you have in yourself
•    If your work environment is not conducive
•    The outside factors that force you to direct your attention elsewhere

Today, everyone proclaims that multi-tasking is a must, but this is simply not true.  You will accomplish so much more by laser focusing on one thing at a time. I use a cool little time management tool to help me  focus on what needs to be done — one-by-one.

Unfortunately, there are also more demands placed upon you as the world continues to grow and develop. Focus plays a key role on your way to success. Although there are some things are simply out of your control, you also must work on the aspects that you can easily overcome.

To start with, you have to learn how to remove yourself from all the distractions. A quiet corner and a locked door make a world of difference. Secondly, you must learn to will yourself not to give in to temptations. When you hear the television blaring, don’t see what show is playing at that moment. Remember, work sustains you, not the shows you watch.

You have to learn to push yourself to the limit. If concentrating is just too difficult at the moment, then reward yourself with a few minutes breather. Even top-ranking officials know when to take a break, and so should you. In the end, you have to think about the benefits you’ll reap once you will yourself to move further. No one rewards the lazy, and pitfalls come to those who procrastinate.

>>> See My Time-Management Action Tool

Motivating yourself is what gets you to move forward and think of ways to improve the quality of your work. It is when you get to enjoy the fruits of your labor will you realize that good things come to those who try. And to experience these benefits as soon as possible, there is not other resort here but to learn the value of focus and concentration.

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http://budurl.com/2bsa

These experiences may include time to be alone in the
mountains to meditate and write, or maybe to live in exotic
places in Asia or other parts of the world. Or maybe you
would just like to be home more and experience your
children and loved ones more…

Well if this is you, if you dream of travel, living abroad
or working from anywhere you should go listen to the
interview Bob Doyle did with his friend and colleague
Bryant Jones a few days back. Here’s why…

Because, in the past year Bryant has done all the things
mentioned above, and as he tells it he can help anyone
become a “Mobiles Entrepreneur” with the ability to “live,
travel or work anywhere”.

The interview is fairly short so you have time to go
listen now…
http://budurl.com/2bsa

Peter Loughlin

P.S. In the call Bryant talks about the key to getting
started… I think you’ll find it very useful if you want a
lifestyle business. http://budurl.com/2bsa

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The Jim Rohn Tribute Video!

It was so many years ago when I first  bought one of Jim’s inspirational audio cassettes.  It was so important to me that I listened to over and over for years.  Now get this, I was so worried that if  I ever lost it I might not find a another one so I recorded 10 or so copies and kept the original in my safe.

I can honestly say I owe owe Jim in so many ways for starting me (and carrying me) on my journey of success. That’s the kind of impact he has made in my life.

Jim Rohn has impacted so many others over the years. I loved watching this video tribute to him and an honored to share it with you today.

>>> http://www.jimrohn.com/tribute.asp

Please  be sure to pass it on to others.

Peter Louhghlin

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